so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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