I only kidnapped one of them. chill
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize