The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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