She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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