WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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