He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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