There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
