My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
