Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I faked an abortion last night.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
