Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
