I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
