You're a womanizer and a bitch.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
