There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
