ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize