yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
NoShamevember. You game?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
