I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
this just has baby written all over it
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
