you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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