just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
