It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
