That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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