I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
