Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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