I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
