I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
