Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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