my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
