cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
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