Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
