I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
