Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
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