Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
