break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
