Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
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