I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
