Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
