Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
