Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
