He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize