Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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