whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
