marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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