I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
