It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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