I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
My hand turned me down
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
