I want to stick my p in your. b.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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