my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize