my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize