I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
