I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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