We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
