Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
