I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
