Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
