I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
