Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
