are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
