Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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