Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Did I show you my penis last night?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Shame - the story of my life.
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