I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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