so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
