Will you blow on my dice?
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize