1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
too bad you live with your parents still
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
