remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Randomize
