Have you finally orgasmed yet?
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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