If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Randomize
