Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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