wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
